by HappySysiphus, Unknown News
Jan. 23, 2004
Please do stop thinking the following things about space.
1. That you don't live there.
Come on out to the American South West and check out the big hole in the desert. No, not the Grand Canyon. That happened slOOOOOwly as plain old water from plain old rain found the path of least resistance to sea level. I'm talking about the other hole (LINK) that formed in no time when a 150 foot hunk of Iron and Nickel smacked into the ground and went off like one of those Soviet H-bombs that used to be pointed at your house.
You live in space, and what happens here in space affects us all. It brings a whole new and more threatening meaning to the term, "Homeland Security" when you think about it that way. Ben Affleck isn't going to be able to shoot up into orbit and drill in a nuke at the last minute when it comes time for the real thing. We haven't even begun to develop the actual technology we're going to need to deal with the next, inevitable, unpredictable ballistic threats from the neighborhood. Tunguska (LINK) got hit in 1908 by something Hiroshima-like and I suppose we're going to have to see it happen to a big, modern city before we're going to wake up and start figuring out how to duck. Let's hope it's not YOUR city. And let's really hope that it's not much, much bigger. Sure would suck to split this rock in half before we've gotten any of the marijuana off it.
2. That the International Space Station is worth a shit.
It isn't. It is a colossal, floating, smelly waste of money just like Waterworld. Let it fall on the domed head of Dick Cheney and alert the world to the uselessness of low earth orbit for anything except really expensive, totally hot porn. Better yet, keep it up there and make some porn in it! Just don't keep boring the fuck out of people with the goddamn thing.
3. That the current administration of NASA knows it's dumb ass from a large red hole in the ground.
It doesn't. (see 2 and 4)
4. That only after building a base on the moon and then spending a trillion dollars will we finally be able to put a couple of footprints on mars and raise a flag and then tuck tail and run home to avoid the increased risk of cancer from all of the "Deadly Radiation" in space that proves we faked the moon landings etc...
Bullshit. What if a Democratic candidate ran on the following platform: I will CUT the budget of NASA to 12 percent of it's current level, and have a team of scientists on the Martian surface for a Two Year geological survey (hopefully including, ancient cities or at least dolphin bones) which will be followed systematically by more teams in a process that will leave behind the first stages of a human infrastructure on Mars. Plus, I will do all of this working on approximately the same timescale as George Bush's ruinously expensive plan, all while using nothing but technology and know how that has been sitting around since the 1990s. Did I mention I plan to spend only about what we currently do to keep Al Gore's flying turd (LINK) stocked with tortillas? Impossible you say? check out this quote from a little book called The Case For Mars, (LINK) by Michael Zubrin about his plan called Mars Direct:
"We Can Do It. 20 to 30 billion dollars is not cheap, but it's roughly in the same range as a single military procurement for a new weapons system; it's in the same range as the money the United States Government gave to Mexico one afternoon in 1995. Spread over 20 years with the first ten years developing hardware and the next ten years flying missions, It would represent between 8 percent and 12 percent of the existing NASA budget. For the sake of opening a new world to human civilization, it's a sum this country can easily afford.
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"Exploring Mars requires no miraculous new technologies, no orbiting spaceports, no anti-matter propulsion systems or gigantic interplanetary cruisers. We can establish our first outpost on Mars within a decade, using well-demonstrated techniques of brass-tacks engineering backed up by our pioneer forbears' common sense. How we can do it and why we should do it, is the dual subject of this book."
Go read the book and then go ask yourself whether "I can do it better and cheaper" isn't a better strategy than squandering the first time since Kennedy our nation is even thinking about this most important of subjects by characterizing space exploration as a frivolous cost. Read the book, and call the DNC.
5. That feeding starving babies is more important than space.
I understand this one, but I have to disagree. The best plan of course is doing both, but if you can't wrap your head around that, think abut this: If you want human civilization to roll back to a point where you can live and breathe free, you are never ever going to get it down here. The only chance for the free thinkers that frequent this site to leave a legacy of true freedom to posterity is to put a little actual space between our grand children and their mind-bogglingly numerous future neighbors. We'd better start talking up space to our friends and families and enemies and everyone. This is 1499 and the new world is, as far as we know, infinite. How about thinking of money for space exploration as a gift of charity to the entire long future of starving babies in space that will only be alive at all because they were born far, far away from the Mother Planet that got obliterated by a big fat comet. Not working for you? Give it time.
6. That there is some sort of Robot/Human space exploration dichotomy.
AAAAAAAAAARGH. I even heard the guys on NPR talking about this one this morning. Why do we always have to have these stupid fucking dichotomies? Nature vs. Nurture, Man vs. Beast, Red vs. Green. The answer is ALWAYS both. Genetics and the environment determine your personality. You are most definitely animal and yet profoundly different from all animals in certain ways which makes you a man (or WOman). Red and green chili go great together on a stuffed sopapilla. So the next time you're in New Mexico (LINK), just ask for it Christmas Style. That having been said, let me drop a surprise on you: Robots ANNNNNND humans ought to be sent into space to check shit out, and if we invent, like, some kind of cyborg/nanotech living thingbot, we should send that shit into space too. It is the only place where such a thing could be loved don't you think?
7. That people living away from Mother Earth is dorky science fiction and it will never happen.
This one may turn out to be right, but only if our famous ignorance and fear tie us down to our cradle. We'll be right here crying in our own putrid filth with no parents to help us, and no charitable state to save us, but at least the neighbors (LINK) will keep on dropping by.
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