Unknown News

"News that's not known,
or not known enough."

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It takes money to publish Unknown News.

Sometimes we hear from people who have the amusing misconception that we're young professionals, or that the site is funded by a grant from

Unsolicited comments
from Mel L. O'Cat

the Ford Foundation or the Pew Cheritable Trust or some such. It ain't that way, but the notion does make us laugh.

We are painfully poor. We're not kidding, and we're not exaggerating. If you're not above giving to charity, we're not above asking for it.

Every little bit helps. We're paying about $50 a month for webhosting and $24.95 a month for an internet dial-up connection. That means one dollar keeps Unknown News on-line for about ten hours. Ten dollars keeps us on-line for about four days.

So we're selling everything from stickers to sandwiches, and offering ads on the website at stupidly low prices. We sell subscriptions to Unknown News, for ten measly bucks a year.

And subscribers get a free bumper sticker. Whoop-de-doo!

Or, if you're just plain nice, donations are always enthusiastically appreciated.

Unknown News is not tax-deductable, not affiliated with any political party or group, and not cuddly with the likes of MobilExxon or the Ford Foundation. We try to be the crankiest of the cranks, bringing you a daily dose of bad news from reliable sources. If you appreciate the nucklebustin' work that goes into this website, we would greatly appreciate your help.

An important note: If you're poor like we are, if you're worried about making next month's rent or paying next month's bills like we are, then please send nothing. We absolutely don't want to add to your worries.

But if you're not particularly worried about the rent and the bills, then yes, we would appreciate your help.

The time and work involved in this project have increased exponentially since September 11 of 2001. Our hit-counter sets a new record almost every week, and we're way past our monthly maximum hits — which is great, but every visitor every day adds a little more to our monthly bill. All funds received go toward ISP, webhosting, and luxuries like a new keyboard without a stickyyy y. If there's ever enough to cover expenses, any hypothetical excess would go toward making this a better website.

Anyone who might think monetary gifts a tad too cold (believe me, you're wrong) is invited to look through our 'wish list,' to find other ways to put smiles on our faces ...

If you're donating by mail, please make checks payable to Stephanie Webb (not Unknown News) and send payment to this address.

Unknown News has been on-line for almost seven years. If it suddenly goes dark, that means we're bankrupt or dead, or we've been arrested for unAmericanism, in which case we regret that refunds will probably not be possible. Unless and until one of these things happens, however, we are completely committed to keeping this site up and running, and we appreciate the heck out of everyone who helps.

Your support keeps this website alive. Thank you!

Unsolicited comments
from Mel L. O'Cat,
August 3, 2005

I have known and worked with Harry and Helen for several years, enough time to form a solid gestalt and judgement. On the basis of approximately 1,000 emails and numerous joint endeavors, I know these facts: they are Good People, and they are "the real McCoy"; they are not bullshit artists.

I also know that they put a lot of work into UnknownNews.net and that it is one of the hidden gems of the internet. If you've ever traipsed through their "War on Freedom" collection or one of their other archives of atrocities then you already know this.

They are also hard workers in "real life", putting in very long hours doing real work. Hard work. The kind of work that immigrants often do. And of *course* this means no health insurance, no cash reserves, no retirement fund, and not even medicine unless someone in the family is having a near death experience. Did I mention that there is a new mouth to feed, a short furry child with four legs and a tail?

Needless to say, what this adds up to is a heroic family of three that is one paycheck from utter disaster. It means they probably need $1000 just for dentist visits, and probably another $75 for a preventative veterinary checkup. And it means they need a minimum of $2,500 in "plan" emergency cash reserves (a "plan" is what Papillion used in the Devil's Island prison -- it is a metal tube that ... well, anyway, in order to steal it someone has to kill you and cut you open...) And they need another $1000 for food reserves, some new clothes, and a couple of
things to improve "Quality of Life".

And of course they're going to need a Retirement Plan ...but not *that* kind of "plan" this time :) This kind of plan is like a nest egg, or one of those rubber band balls? Except this one is constructed with $20 bills instead of rubber bands. I estimate they need a $20 ball with a diameter of about 1 foot -- or approximately $50,000. At the rate of $3,600 a year, which is $300 a month, they could achieve that in 14 years.

In the business world it is standard to employ an "agent" or spokesman to get the word out. It really helps to have someone "rec and vouch" for you when you need to get something done. Sometimes the agents are shady characters (bullshit artists), and sometimes they are just expert salesmen who fulfill a necessary role. After all, how many techno-nerds are good at contract negotiation? How many muckrakers are good at Dialing For Dollars? That's why I am writing this today. To communicate and persuade on behalf of Harry and Helen -- and Unknown News. Even if I were a bullshit artist, an "artiste" (and I have the con genes to do this), that does not mean that what I am saying is bullshit.

Like you perhaps, I send in the occasional $20, but only when H&H put up an urgent plea for emergency aid. Perhaps it is time to take that to the next level? Perhaps figure out some level of personal investment in these Very Important People, our Harry & Helen, and send off an envelope every month or every three months? If there is some good participation here then large numbers of small gifts will add up and "Git 'er done!"

Here's how to do it for you privacy lovers inside the U.S.:

Address an envelope to the U.N. address, but as a return address use the address of your favorite local charity, like Goodwill(?) Then, fold a $20 bill inside a blank piece of paper, insert in the envelope and seal. Then place the sealed envelope in the microwave and nuke for 3 seconds on High to kill any embedded RFIDs. Then mail! If you are really paranoid use gloves, and moisten the envelope and stamp with a damp sponge (don't want to give away any DNA samples, eh?) I think they also accept PayPal if that sounds better.

Whatever. It is important to invest in People when there is a good return on your investment and you are sure that your money will be put to good use. That is the situation here. It is a brutal world out there, but with a little bit of participation we can make it better, one day at a time. If you are a Friend of Unknown News then this is a Very Good Thing to do...if you can afford it.

Mel L. O'Cat

You bring tears to a cranky ol' dame's eyes. Thank you, Mr O'Cat. :) It might take me a day or so to figure out what to do with this -- I kinda want to have it framed -- but it'll definitely be put to the use intended. If anyone's wondering, no, we didn't ask or hint or have any clue that MellowCat was writing this unsolicited testimonial. And I don't remember telling him much about our financial situation, but dang me if every word he's guesstimated isn't pretty dang close to exactly right ... :) Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

=H&HH=

There's much more than this at Unknown News.

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