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Can I redesign your website? It really needs better graphics, more color, flash animation ... Unknown News must be the ugliest site on the web, as at least once a month we hear from someone who's eager to redesign our pages. If there's a problem with this site's functionality or readability a link doesn't work or you find a font difficult to read please let us know (unknownnews ay inbox.com). If you have a specific suggestion that would make the site more informative, appealing, or intuitive for users, we'd love to hear from you. If you want Unknown News to have a snazzier look, the answer is probably thanks, but no. Our site looks amateur because it is amateur. We've taught ourselves enough HTML to make words and occasionally images appear on your screen. We want the words to be easily read, the images sharp and clear, and we want the overall presentation to be tastefully restrained straightforward and uncluttered. We don't want our site to look as slick as a corporate news site (or some other weblogs). We don't want a glittering logo, flashing colors, or special effects trailing the cursor. We don't want an animated American flag fluttering upside-down, and we don't want users to hear a funeral durge when they click to our main page. We eschew applications which would render this site inaccessible to people using older computers or browsers. We're not going to employ design gimmicks we don't understand ourselves, and we have little interest in learning new design gimmicks. If the site looks a little old-fashioned and low-tech, it's because your hosts, Helen & Harry, ARE a little old-fashioned and low-tech. H&HH
Do you have an RSS feed? We offer this RSS-esque feed, which we update daily. You're welcome! H&HH
Do you want to switch hosts? Now and then we hear from folks who like the website, and want to offer us hosting at a discount. Some of these saints even offer hosting for nothin'. We appreciate the heck out of the offer, but the answer is no. We're on our third host now; the first two were spotty at best, one with lots of down time and the other with lots of down time plus a note asking us to tone down the politics. And both times we've switched, it's been a hellish ordeal with the old host's alleged "customer service" department. Our current host is pair.com, and they're not the cheapest ... but their rates are reasonable, and we get our money's worth. They've been down about 15 minutes over the past three years. When we have technical difficulties, pair.com offers actual customer service. And they've never given half a hoot what the heck we publish. So we appreciate the offer, but we're going to stay where we are. H&HH
How do you decide what news goes where? For the most part, we don't decide diddly. When we find a news article we feel is amazingly 'unknown' or outrageous, we place it near the top of the page, along with links to articles published by Unknown News. This generally accounts for the first few articles presented daily. After that, though, we make little or no attempt to "rank" the day's news by importance. Everything is presented in pretty much the order it's found newest items near the top, older items near the bottom. H&HH
Wanna exchange links? In a word, no. We link to sites because we're recommending them, not as part of any quid pro quo. We find the widespread practice of websites "trading links" to be silly and masturbatory, and "please exchange links" form letters are worse: they're simply spam, sent to who-knows-how-many websites We will, of course, cheerfully link to any site we like, and we'll quickly check out any site anyone seriously suggests. And when we do, we don't expect or demand that these sites link back to us. H&HH
Will you give me a free ad? Depends. We need to sell ads to support our website, and we also give solidarity ads to support other projects that, in our opinion, deserve support. We're won't give solidarity ads to sites or projects we don't wholeheartedly endorse. That means the answer is no for anything comprised entirely or almost entirely of merchandise for sale, or run by incorporated companies, or entities which pay for ads elsewhere, or anyone we think is in it solely for the money. And of course, we'll delete your email the instant we suspect it's spam. H&HH
What kind of news are you looking for? By definition, unknown means most folks don't know about it and news means it's something new. We're generally looking for links which are either unknown or news, or preferably both. We're particularly interested in news about government, corporate, and other corruption, malfeasance, atrocities, and et cetera. Please don't send attachments. For more information, see our guidelines. H&HH
When's the deadline? We don't do deadlines too much pressure. We get to the email when we get to the email, which can be anytime from immediately after you send it till 18-24 hours later. The lag is even longer on the weekends. If you're sending something that's date-sensitive a deep think-piece on Arbor Day, for example we suggest you send it at least several days before Arbor Day. H&HH
Why do you publish obscenities? What on earth do you think is gained by coining vulgar headlines such as "Louisianans may not take it up the ass, Court rules"? That's funny, I suppose, in a low-brow way, but it doesn't exactly enhance your credibility. If you want to be respected as journalists, try reporting the facts in a respectable, journalistic fashion.We don't "want to be respected as journalists." We want to tell the truth. Here's the truth: The article you're asking about reports, in family-friendly language, that a panel of highly-educated and highly-paid judges spent many days hearing detailed arguments about blow jobs and buttfucking. These judges, paid by tax dollars, presumably considered objections and affidavits about rimming and lube and licking balls. Is that offensive? In the end, these oh-so-respectable judges decided that the state, not the individual, has the final say on any citizen's desire to open his or her mouth or bunghole for pleasure. They decided that Louisianans may not take it up the ass. That's offensive. What on earth would be gained by cloaking such news with an obfuscating headline like "Court rules against gay activists" or "Sex laws upheld by court" or some such? To anyone who isn't violently allergic to freedom, the Court's decision is far more vulgar and offensive than any consensual sex act. We are not "objective journalists," so we won't shade the true nature of repression with the blandest words we can find. H&HH
Why don't you answer or even acknowledge my emails? We answer almost every email we read. We do not, however, READ every email we receive. The work here is done by just two people, and we have only a few hours daily to go through hundreds of incoming emails. Like almost any other publication, we have guidelines for writers. We've tried to include links to our guidelines at just about every mention of our email address, but if you haven't read the guidelines, we probably haven't read or even received your submission. Please don't send attachments. Of course, a lot of people don't, won't, and never will read the guidelines, or they think we'll make an exception for them (we won't), so they send attachments (which gets their emails auto-deleted), or they send stuff that's wildly at odds with what we're looking for. Sorry if this sounds brusque, but we must spend our time working on the website, and writers who obviously haven't read the guidelines waste time we don't have. We rarely even respond, and if we receive several such submissions from the same sender, we'll eventually filter mail from that address into the trash. Please read the guidelines. H&HH
Why don't you have a message board? We welcome healthy dialogue with and between readers, but we prefer the slower, more thoughtful pace of updating the conversation once daily, instead of instantaneously whenever anyone sends a comment. Posting updates only once daily helps us (and maybe other people) stop and think before rushing a reply, and allows us to keep the trolls out. H&HH
Why did you hit me with a pop-up ad? We didn't. We don't do pop-ups, If you saw a pop-up at Unknown News, your computer is carrying malware or spyware. You may have visited a website that launched a "pop-under" ad, or that launched "pop-up" ads when you left that site. You may have (intentionally or inadvertantly) installed free programs that trigger pop-up ads at random intervals, or whenever you type certain keywords. We're not experts, so we can't give much advice on what you should do about your problem, beyond the obvious: Of course, you're using a good firewall, and of course you have anti-virus software and anti-spyware software that's regularly updated, yes? We pay a reasonable price and recommend the CA Internet Security Suite, with anti-virus, anti-spyware, and personal firewall, offered by ca.com/worldwide. Here's a relevant newsgroup, peopled with many good souls who know much more than we do. Here's a pertinent post. One way or another, two things are certain: 1: Nasty people have written nefarious software that's up and running on your computer. And ... 2: We're not the nasty people who gave you this nefarious software. H&HH
Why did you reject my submission? We receive a surprisingly large and growing number of submissions, but our time and budget are so tightly limited we're only able to publish material that absolutely knocks us on our asses. That's an utterly subjective standard, and it unavoidably means we say "no thanks" to many fine articles. If you've read the guidelines but we still reject your article, please don't take it personally. Most of the material we reject is just fine, even better-than-average, so don't give up. If you think we've made a big mistake, you may be right, and we'd love to hear from you again. Of course, if you haven't read the guidelines, we probably haven't read or even received your submission. H&HH
Why haven't you published my article or e-mail? We receive a lot of email, and we can't go through it any quicker than we go through it. As Scottie would say, we canna break the laws of physics. At hectic peaks, it may be as long as three days before we read and reply or publish an email. And it takes lots of time to edit, code, and prep articles, so "think pieces" (commentary that isn't directly related to current news, or complicated material that requires us to really think) are a somewhat lower priority for us than news, and may be delayed up to several weeks. It's also possible that we never got your email. (Please don't send attachments.) And it's entirely possible that your article or email sucked, and that's why we haven't printed it. We usually send polite 'rejection notes' for articles that don't make the cut, but uninteresting emails and unreadable articles are simply deleted. H&HH
If you think we're wrong about something, you might be right. Please, tell us what we're mistaken about a specific article or concept and we'll be happy to consider your points. We won't waste time, though, with people who argue without thinking, or offer only insults. If your mind is sealed shut, Unknown News ain't for you, so toodle-doo. We wish you well. Just watch whatever network news you choose, and pretend you know what's going on ... H&HH
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